Russell’s Ramblings

Those who do not hear the music might think the dancer mad

The ghosts from days that never were

     Not long ago while attending my 30th high school reunion, one of my classmates and I struck up a conversation.  We were talking about the good old days when he said with a little hesitation, “I kind of figured you and Lynn would get together.”

     Janet Lynn was perhaps my first real crush.  This picturesque southern belle had an infectious smile that melted boy’s hearts.   I was smitten from the first time I met her.

     We sat together at ballgames where I would sneak stolen glances. Often, she would sit beside me at lunch, snatching my soda, returning it after her sip with a smile.  The rest of the lunch I treated the chalice like the Holy Grail.

     In all that time though, we never dated.  It always seemed either she was dating someone steady or I was in the middle of a forgotten high school romance.  My mom often encouraged me to ask her out anyway.  Mamas’ tend to know how their kids feel even when words aren’t exchanged on the subject.

     Years later, Lynn saw me at a restaurant and we caught up on old times.  Looking down at the table, in a much softer voice, she sighed, “Too bad we never really dated.”  Then she abruptly looked up and said, “Hey, maybe we dispense with the dating and just get married.  What do ya’ think?”

     I nearly strangled on the drink I was sipping.  Struggling a quick laugh, I immediately changed the subject.  A little later I hugged her goodnight and placed a little kiss on her cheek.  The moment, her perfume, the warmth of her cheek when I embraced her, are the ghosts that haunt the memories that never were.

              I’ve often thought of what might have been.  Lynn and I were very much alike and chances are, had I asked her out, it would be just a teenage summer romance to remember.  Instead, I’ll always wonder what might have been.    Those memories are the ghosts from yesterdays that never were.



March 13, 2009 - Posted by | Personal

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